Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
