Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
