Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
