The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Boobs speak an international language.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
