I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
