I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize