You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Mom said you looked used
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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