Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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