Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
