I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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