is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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