No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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