Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
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I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
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I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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