she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
