What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
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Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
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Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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