He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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