you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
