Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
