my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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