Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My ATM looks so different sober.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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