dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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