No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I understand Curling. That high.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
