Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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