Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
