hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
