I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
