Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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