Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
