what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
