butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize