we're blogging at a bar
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
