jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
