Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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