don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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