it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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