my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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