Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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