Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I can text with my tongue
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
