fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize