i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
