So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
