And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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