Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Randomize
