Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
