her vagine was all disorganized.
i think my mom watched the whole time
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
