i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
