I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
