Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
