he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
