look no pants
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
