She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
