Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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