You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
