I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
