There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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