I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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