My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize