You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
