I just made out with a guy for $7.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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