Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How does it feel to date your dad?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
as a side note pls kill me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
