i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
