I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
